© Adam Granger
CABLE CRUISING #1
10-24-93
ADAM: And now, it's time for "Cable Cruising", a new feature on the Cedar Social in which we preview cable programming that we think you should watch. "Cable Cruising" is brought to you by Equity Receivership Refinancing Consultants, Specializing in quasi-amortization, de-fiscalization and turbo-liquidation of personal funds since 1991. Whether it's a modest nest egg or a mature retirement account you've got, Equity Receivership Refinancing Consultants is interested in getting their hands on it--
POP: I'm glad you mentioned "nest eggs", Adam. . .
[60 second improvised discussion of Pop's nest egg, using mumbo-jumbo financial terms, real and fictional, and ending with]
ADAM: Pop, we're good friends, and I hope you don't take offense at this, but it's obvious that you don't have a solid enough financial vocabulary to intelligently discuss this. Let's just get on with it. And now, "Cable Cruising". Take it away, Pop!
POP: I wish I could take my nest egg away. . .This week, the Alternative Sports Network will broadcast the semifinals of the Baffin Island Penguin Races on Wednesday, and on Friday night they'll begin re-broadcast of the popular twelve-part series, "How to Play Lacrosse".
ADAM: You folks may not know that there's a brand new superstation in cable land, the Rush Limbaugh Network. Highlights on the Rush Limbaugh Network this week include the premiere of a new game show, "Pillory Hillary", weekday mornings, and the Saturday morning children's show, "Dittos for Kiddos".
POP: This weekend, Christian station KROS, will air its popular "Quakerthon", 48-hours of programming about Quakers. Included will be a hilarious animated history of Quakerism. The voice of William Penn will be portrayed by Don Rickles.
And the Zen Channel will be showing an unlit fireplace for the next two years.
ADAM: Programming hi-lights on the Pseudo-Intellectual Channel include a plain-English explanation of Newton's Law of Gravity on Tuesday night, and an easy-pronunciation guide to the names of the existentialist philosophers on Thursday night.
POP: And on the public-access cable channels, a three-hour call-in show, "The Stearns County Assistant Comptroller and You" will air on Channel 165 on Saturday night.
ADAM: And this week, "Fun with Felt" will run twenty minutes longer than usual, in order to give the poodles time to dry.
POP: And that's "Cable Cruising", brought to you by Equity Receivership Refinancing Consultants. Rollback debenture investment depreciation since 1991.
ADAM: Remember, when you do business with ERRC, the world is your oyster--
POP: --or clam, in my case.
10-24-93
ADAM: And now, it's time for "Cable Cruising", a new feature on the Cedar Social in which we preview cable programming that we think you should watch. "Cable Cruising" is brought to you by Equity Receivership Refinancing Consultants, Specializing in quasi-amortization, de-fiscalization and turbo-liquidation of personal funds since 1991. Whether it's a modest nest egg or a mature retirement account you've got, Equity Receivership Refinancing Consultants is interested in getting their hands on it--
POP: I'm glad you mentioned "nest eggs", Adam. . .
[60 second improvised discussion of Pop's nest egg, using mumbo-jumbo financial terms, real and fictional, and ending with]
ADAM: Pop, we're good friends, and I hope you don't take offense at this, but it's obvious that you don't have a solid enough financial vocabulary to intelligently discuss this. Let's just get on with it. And now, "Cable Cruising". Take it away, Pop!
POP: I wish I could take my nest egg away. . .This week, the Alternative Sports Network will broadcast the semifinals of the Baffin Island Penguin Races on Wednesday, and on Friday night they'll begin re-broadcast of the popular twelve-part series, "How to Play Lacrosse".
ADAM: You folks may not know that there's a brand new superstation in cable land, the Rush Limbaugh Network. Highlights on the Rush Limbaugh Network this week include the premiere of a new game show, "Pillory Hillary", weekday mornings, and the Saturday morning children's show, "Dittos for Kiddos".
POP: This weekend, Christian station KROS, will air its popular "Quakerthon", 48-hours of programming about Quakers. Included will be a hilarious animated history of Quakerism. The voice of William Penn will be portrayed by Don Rickles.
And the Zen Channel will be showing an unlit fireplace for the next two years.
ADAM: Programming hi-lights on the Pseudo-Intellectual Channel include a plain-English explanation of Newton's Law of Gravity on Tuesday night, and an easy-pronunciation guide to the names of the existentialist philosophers on Thursday night.
POP: And on the public-access cable channels, a three-hour call-in show, "The Stearns County Assistant Comptroller and You" will air on Channel 165 on Saturday night.
ADAM: And this week, "Fun with Felt" will run twenty minutes longer than usual, in order to give the poodles time to dry.
POP: And that's "Cable Cruising", brought to you by Equity Receivership Refinancing Consultants. Rollback debenture investment depreciation since 1991.
ADAM: Remember, when you do business with ERRC, the world is your oyster--
POP: --or clam, in my case.