© Adam Granger
BISCUIT UPDATE—Powdermilk Biscuit Band Introduction
10-23-93
Bob Douglas owns Bob's Fix-It-Yourself Car Body Repair Shop, a successful business whose motto is "Go to Bob's, for an Auto Body Experience". Even more successful is his new business, Bob's Let-Us-Fix-What-You-Attempted-Fix-Yourself Repair Shop, located right next to the original Bob's. In his spare time, Bob goes for various world records. His latest listings in Guiness include the record for going the longest time without blinking (six days), the record for watching "That Darned Cat" the most number of times in a row (106), and the record for harnessing the largest number of ferrets to a baby carriage (71). Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Bob Douglas.
Dick Rees has had numerous experiences. Right after leaving the Biscuits, he ran for King of Norway, losing out on the bid primarily due to the technicality that he's not Norwegian. A subsequent lunatic attempt to singlehandedly invade Sweden failed also. After getting out of prison, he settled in Denmark, where he became known as "Mr. Mambo", teaching the dance to virtually the entire country through his wildly popular "Mr. Mambo's Dance Party" television show. Unceremoniously ejected from the country when it was learned that he had, in fact, been teaching the Watusi all along, he settled back in St. Paul, where he stays out of sight and out of trouble. He collects curb feelers and paints ceramic poodles in his spare time. Ladies and gentlemen, Dick Rees.
Mary DuShane, also has led many lives since leaving the Biscuits. While rumors that she played air guitar for Milli Vanilli are totally unfounded, it is a fact that, when Gorbachev visited the Twin Cities two years ago, Mary taught him to play the dulcimer and sing "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald". Mary also served, for a period of time, as a fashion consultant to Prince, a position which was cut short when she told him that he ought to wear cotton, and corduroy, and other fabrics that breathe, because then he'd be cool and comfortable enough to go on stage fully clothed. She has twelve cats, enjoys bungee-jumping and plays the tuba for relaxation. My Dear Miss Du Shane. . .Mary DuShane.
As for me, I've become a survivalist. I spend weeks at a time walking alone through the woods heavily armed, mumbling to myself about the gold standard, looking for small game to shoot, skin, gut and put up in jars for the long, cold winter months, waiting for the apocalypse which is sure to come. I'm the author of the best-selling survivalist book,
Eat It Before It Eats You, and am currently working on a new book entitled Bugs Are Your Friends--Your Only Friends. For kicks, I come into town and drive around in a convertible with a Mister Microphone saying, "Hi there, good looking; I'll be back for you later!" My name is Adam Granger, and we are the Powdermilk Biscuit Band.
10-23-93
Bob Douglas owns Bob's Fix-It-Yourself Car Body Repair Shop, a successful business whose motto is "Go to Bob's, for an Auto Body Experience". Even more successful is his new business, Bob's Let-Us-Fix-What-You-Attempted-Fix-Yourself Repair Shop, located right next to the original Bob's. In his spare time, Bob goes for various world records. His latest listings in Guiness include the record for going the longest time without blinking (six days), the record for watching "That Darned Cat" the most number of times in a row (106), and the record for harnessing the largest number of ferrets to a baby carriage (71). Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Bob Douglas.
Dick Rees has had numerous experiences. Right after leaving the Biscuits, he ran for King of Norway, losing out on the bid primarily due to the technicality that he's not Norwegian. A subsequent lunatic attempt to singlehandedly invade Sweden failed also. After getting out of prison, he settled in Denmark, where he became known as "Mr. Mambo", teaching the dance to virtually the entire country through his wildly popular "Mr. Mambo's Dance Party" television show. Unceremoniously ejected from the country when it was learned that he had, in fact, been teaching the Watusi all along, he settled back in St. Paul, where he stays out of sight and out of trouble. He collects curb feelers and paints ceramic poodles in his spare time. Ladies and gentlemen, Dick Rees.
Mary DuShane, also has led many lives since leaving the Biscuits. While rumors that she played air guitar for Milli Vanilli are totally unfounded, it is a fact that, when Gorbachev visited the Twin Cities two years ago, Mary taught him to play the dulcimer and sing "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald". Mary also served, for a period of time, as a fashion consultant to Prince, a position which was cut short when she told him that he ought to wear cotton, and corduroy, and other fabrics that breathe, because then he'd be cool and comfortable enough to go on stage fully clothed. She has twelve cats, enjoys bungee-jumping and plays the tuba for relaxation. My Dear Miss Du Shane. . .Mary DuShane.
As for me, I've become a survivalist. I spend weeks at a time walking alone through the woods heavily armed, mumbling to myself about the gold standard, looking for small game to shoot, skin, gut and put up in jars for the long, cold winter months, waiting for the apocalypse which is sure to come. I'm the author of the best-selling survivalist book,
Eat It Before It Eats You, and am currently working on a new book entitled Bugs Are Your Friends--Your Only Friends. For kicks, I come into town and drive around in a convertible with a Mister Microphone saying, "Hi there, good looking; I'll be back for you later!" My name is Adam Granger, and we are the Powdermilk Biscuit Band.